Here’s an excerpt of something i wrote to myself in my diary:
"Live how you want and let the consequences rain down. There is fulfillment in tragedy. There is emptiness in pleasure. There is excitement in fear and a release in falling…. Pay no attention to cultural expectations. Your life is your own."
This post will go along with the title of my blog quite nicely. Insane people make the most sense. Well, I have decided that that is more true than I’ve previously thought. See, recently I’ve been questioning what major I should have, what classes i should take, stuff like that. What i keep coming back to is that i don’t want to take unnecessary classes and i don’t want to confine myself to a major. What i really want to do is learn Japanese and Korean and go live in those countries for a while. But there are so many things holding me back from that dream. Money, of course, is one. Then there is society’s expectations. My parents’ expectations. “Go to school, get a degree, get a job.” There may be a ton of reasons holding you back from your dreams. And so we give up on those ridiculous dreams and go the expected path.
But how about we stop thinking about why we can’t do something. Let’s go back to how we thought when we were little kids and said very confidently that we were going to be astronauts or actors or firefighters. When we were little, we knew we could do or be anything. Did reality strike or was it a mirage known as reality? Do we still look to the future hoping it will be better than now? Do we look ahead and think “yes in five years i will be able to do this or that”?
It’s time to make this moment right here as exciting as what we wish our future will be.
It’s time to dream crazy impossible dreams and make them happen.
It’s interesting. There’s an inspirational speaker/blogger dude Seth Godin who talks about how we can’t be held back by our fears. If you want to do something, just do it. Well, here’s the problem: I want to be a writer, so Seth would tell me - go be a blogger, don’t wait for a publisher to accept you, just do it! But that doesn’t exactly work. See, I can write and self-publish and blog, but that won’t get me money or popularity no matter how wonderful my writing is. And sad but true, money is important to survive. I’d like to say that I will just write for my love of writing, but I’ve gotta make money. And frankly, from the little i know, the only way to get your name out there in the book business is to have a publisher. Self-publishing may get your book in a cover, but it won’t get it on the selves. Advertising is key, and that’s why I will be looking for a good publisher.
Sorry, Seth Godin, you’re great and all, but not everyone can just go out there, do what they love, and profit from it. Yes, keep your dreams alive people! But don’t be discouraged if you have to work a part time job while your dreams are still coming together.
Ash to ash and dust to dust.
But then what about the mush?
What about those in the street?
The ones with gravel under their feet.
And what about those left behind?
Unable to keep with the rest of their kind.
We’re left in the dirt, yet we’re here to stay.
The rest of this dust can just blow away.
~by Whitney Paxton
What happens when the world tips over?
What happens when the leaves dry up?
I will lie in a field of clover
And wait till the sun comes up.
And when it does, I’ll see the truth,
I’ll see the lie you’ve put me through.
Because everyday I see your color,
So everyday I think of you.
~by Whitney Paxton
(This is a post meant to be meaningful but has no meaning whatsoever.)
Sometimes I feel like the dad from Raising Hope. When ever someone tells him to think, all he can think of is the word think. One big think exploding into lots of little thinks.
That’s how I am right now. My friend told me I should write a blog post for her and I can’t think of anything so my mind started wandering and now there are a bunch of little thinks jumping around in my head. They’re like fluffy white sheep jumping over a ton of white picket fences in a pasture of neon green grass. Now all I can think of is sheep and that video I saw with the sheep running under a bridge and one of them runs into it. Bridges makes me think of how much I love old stone bridges covered in moss.
Wait, what am I supposed to be writing about? Oh yes, my dear friend Jordy. Jorjy Pordgy. Georgy Pordgy pudding and pie. Pudgy Wudgy pudding and pie, kissed a tomato and made it cry, when the potatoes came out to play, Pudgy Wudgy just ran away - and that is a song me and my sister made up about a little baby potato head we named Pudgy.
Sorry I can’t think of anything, Jordan. I just can’t write when people tell me to, it has to be spontaneous. I really did mean for this to be sweet and heartfelt but it just… nope. I’ve already told you a ton how much I love you and that you’re my best friend so… This is what you get. I hope this makes you laugh, or at least smile.
this guy is just…. no.